March 6th, 2011


Page 16 - Stay Classy. [Video]

[Patchouli turns on the video feed, looking... well, somewhat pleased, a rare turn from her usual, near-emotionless self. Those that know her well can probably tell she's just bubbling with excitement inside.]

I wish to give to give a small announcement to all high school and university students. I have gotten word that I will be returning to teaching Magic Theory starting this month, this time permanently. I will no longer have to go through that annoying method using the Guide every month to sign up. However, I have called for a few changes to my class, a liberty that this new position has allowed me to take.

I will still be teaching high school students. However, the class will be taught over at the university now, in one of the lecture halls. Fortunately, the two schools are not far apart. There should not be any trouble getting to class on time. This also means that college students may take this course, as well. It is an integrated class, taught at a university-level pace. Of course, because of this, my class is optional for everyone. If you feel you cannot keep that pace, you merely needn't take it. It is intended for those who sincerely wish to learn. If you do take this class, though, note that there is a laboratory section included with the lecture, as well. That will be held once a week in a different room.

I am including a file with this post which gives the room number for both lab and lecture, as well as a list of materials you will need.

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11 They'll rip your ass to shreds.

Training 012 [Video]

[The feed flicks on to a new place! It's Chie's new apartment, yo! Chie doesn't seem too happy to be there, though, oddly enough. She seems pretty down.]

...Hey guys! Just...wanted to let you know I moved up to the Apartments. So...yeah if you wanna come visit... I'm up in 6-13a.

[There's a long pause.]

...And y'know, I'd really like some company, so... feel free to just stop by?

[Filtered to the Inaba crew--15% strength]

Hey... Anybody else notice Yosuke dropped off the room list? You think maybe it's a glitch...?

[Her downcast expression says she CLEARLY doesn't think so.]


[Filter to Lavi--15% strength]

Hey, you need help moving up here? I'm not doing anything right now.


[ooc: This is a response to Yosuke's drop. He's not off the room list or anything yet, but assume he is.]
Come with me!

Act 01 : Visual

[There's a quiet hiccuping sound on the feed, then a slight harrumph. A shuffling, and suddenly two bluish eyes come into tight focus. The person setting this little venture up seems to be merely in a hallway, making guerrilla use of their resources, for she soon steps back and smooths down a long, purple dress.

When she looks up at the camera, perhaps you could swear you've seen her before. This time, though, she looks slightly confused.]

Well. I guess I'll start my logs over again. This has video, so I hope I've set it up to record, somehow.

It seems I've finally broken through a new border! This place is unfamiliar and like no story I've ever read, so I'll be sure to document everything carefully. My first goal, of course, is to find someone familiar. More updates in a while.

[And she walks back up, a small red ribbon wavering before the camera's view as the feed shuts off.]

first photograph: visual;

[Hatate's guide comes to life after she's spent a while tinkering with it, reading up on various things, and such.]

You guys. Once we get Gensokyo back - and I mean, come on, I know somebody's danmaku fight got waaaay out of hand and messed up the border, but it's gonna be fine - we have got to keep these things. They're like the best things ever for a superstar reporter like me. I mean, it's like the search on my phone, just totally better.

...though can we leave those ugly green guys here? They won't let you take pictures of them, they made my hand get a cramp with all the stupid paperwork, and why. Why does it have to be filled out three times? It's like, the worst.

My first new edition of the Kakashi Spirit News is going to be all about those guys and why they totally suck. Yep.


Well, not totally about those guys. I mean, there's so much stuff here!

Eighteenth Tail [video]

-The video feed clicks on, and it shows Ran in her classroom. The children are giggling excitedly, as if waiting for something. They sometimes wave at the guide's camera, as kids are want to do. Ran, herself, is a blushing mess.-

Ah, with all of the announcements going on, I wanted to hold off on saying this, but the children here have convinced me, seeing as they managed to get it out of me anyways.

-She holds out her hand, with a rather nice and shiny new ring on her finger. Wait... isn't that...-

He proposed... Fai and I are going to be wed! -The children cheer excitedly, giving the fox woman big hugs.-

Paulmac, could you please shut off the guide and bring it back to me? -And then the feed promptly ends after a mop-headed child does as he's told.-
You have information I want

First Calibration | [VIDYA]

[This here alien is facing away from the camera, kind of mumbling to himself.]

I see we're cutting out the middleman and destroying entire universes instead of going from colony to colony.

That's one hell of a change in strategy.

…Sounds like absolutely everything was destroyed.

…Damn. Then that means everyone is probably… No, if anyone could survive something this cataclysmic, it would be her and the crew.

[A grunt of surprise, and Garrus looks into the the camera full on]

I'm looking for anyone with information on the crew of the Normandy. More specifically, any information on a Commander Shepard.

If you've seen her, tell her Archangel is trying to get in touch.

She'll know what you mean.

Until then, I need to know exactly what's going on here. I have the name of the station, the Guide, a towel, and what I'm assuming is some sort of credit chit.

If things weren't going well enough, I'm also being told that my entire universe was destroyed in perhaps the stupidest way possible. So I'd really appreciate any information I can get.
...? 02

TRACK 010 - ... ♪ [ VIDEO | ACTION ]

[ This month, Justin traded his white zucchetto for a nurse's cap: he's one of the school nurses. He seems to be reading something on another part of the guide's screen: brushing up on the basic tenets of first aid. ]

I was given another random assignment.To be honest, I seem a little under-qualified for this position. It is not a very difficult job. Today, I've only dealt with a few cuts, bruises, and fevers. 

The only challenges tend to be shop class injuries. The students find such creative ways to maim themselves and each other. 

[ He props up his Guide, keeping one page of information open to read. In the background, there's a nervous looking young fellow, who clearly learned a lesson in the misuse of the staplegun tool. Justin dug through his desk to retrieve a pair of pliers: how else is he supposed to treat a staple pierced through a person's hand? He stands, approaching this terrified student. ]

... I am not going to lie. This will hurt. 

(( Students, feel free to give the nurse's office a visit! ))
Fuck yeah early canon points.


[ When the feed starts, there is no person looking into it. In fact, the view shows the busy commotion of the restaurant area of the Thor. After a few seconds of this, this could probably be written off as the Guide accidentally turning on until someone readjusts its position so it's now facing Anemone's pet, Gulliver.

And a very MANLY MAN who has like six arms that have muscles on their muscles.

Anemone's voice comes from off screen. ]

Yup! Fifty credits if you can pick him up and swing him around.

[ The alien grunts in approval, probably already thinking of what to do with the money. He bends down, grabs Gulliver, and effortlessly fails at making him budge.

He tries again, putting more force into it, but he can't get the animal to move an inch from the spot. The next several minutes of the feed is just him struggling and cursing while trying to pick Gulliver up, with Anemone's laughter in the background. ]

First Path-[Video]

[The video has seemingly turned on by itself-it does that a lot these days, huh? Nagato seems to think that it is an audio device, and thus has not notice that it is broadcasting a clear view of his dishevelled body, his sunken cheeks and his purple, ripple patterned eyes. His red hair looks vibrantly healthy, though.

His breathing is slow, and perhaps even painful, his chest flexing with each breath.]

The whole it really gone?

[It's all he can ask. He can't believe it-not right at that moment. Fate couldn't be that cruel, could it?]

First Test :: [VIDEO]

[Click. Harold has found the video components with no trouble whatsoever! Behold a pair of bright violet eyes as she looks excitedly into this new machine which she will probably attempt to take apart in a minute. ]

Attention residents of the S.S. Thor! This is the world-class genius Harold Berselius speaking to you! Right, nice to meet all of you and let me know if you need my talents. Moving onto more important things!

I am looking for able bodied people to help me. Please report to my cabin as soon as possible. I'm staying in 3-11, so you can meet me here.

Thank you, and remember, the pills are mostly harmless, I promise.


[The first thing people see is a big, pink tongue covering the Guide with slobber. Huge, white teeth show as they’re about to clamp down onto the device. There’s some brief static and the screen goes black. There’s some muffled yelling in the background.]

Appa….put that down! It’s not food! I know you’re hungry, boy, but we have to wait till they can provide us the food for you!

I need that book in order to communicate with the other people here! Not that I understand how to work this magical book.

[A few minutes later the video feed comes back on, save everything is upside down. Someone is poking at the Guide with a brown staff.]

How are we supposed to get this to work, Appa? Those people said that all I have to do is a press a button and I can get it to turn on and record what I want it to say.

[Eventually, the Guide is readjusted and everything is correctly in place. People see a young boy with a bald head. He’s dressed in a yellow and orange cloak and smock. Blue arrows are tattooed on his forehead and arms. The boy smiles once he sees that he got the book to work.]

Hi, I’m Aang and this big furry beast is my friend Appa and the long eared creature on my shoulder is Momo! We’re new here and new to these strange devices. We don’t have anything like this back at home. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[Video 02] All in a days work

[The feed opens up to a man in a bar tender uniform with blond hair. For those of you who frequent the park, you have probably seen him roaming around. He appears to be in a classroom shuffling paperwork as well as grading papers. By the look of things, he has an answer key since he'd be pretty screwed without one.]

This isn't too bad...[He mumbles, he looks a little confused by an answer.]

At least its quiet.

8th Star ☆ Video

[ So when the guide comes on, Black☆Star is hard at work in the food court. He's on his hands and knees under a table, using some sort of spatula to scrap gum off the bottom. But surprisingly, there's no already chewed gum being flung at other people. He's not building some sort of fortress out of it. He's not even sampling the pieces that look like they're a bit on the fresher side. Nope, they're just plucked off and tossed into a trash bag. ]

[ And thus far, it seems like he's pretty much done with the food court. A bit of sweat is wiped from his brow. He finally turns his attention to the guide. ]

Alright. So it's my goal to complete this stupid job without getting fired.

That means if anyone comes down here and sticks gum on anything, I will personally punch you in the face.
it only hurts once

૦૦1 ✘ the apple now is sweet oh much sweeter than it ought to be

[the video flickers on. blank. the darkness shifts once, twice before the obstruction moves away and a pair of lips and a chin come into view. at the bottom of the image, matted fluff presses against the lens.]

[a few moments and the image jogs again, descends into a flash of white and red and dark blue--

steadies on a face. a pleasant face, framed by bright white hair and wearing a soft smile. his dark eyes are focused on the screen.]


I wonder if someone might be kind enough to help me. I'd like a guide to my room; our hosts prove less than obliging, and my sense of direction really isn't what it ought to be. Also, I'm looking for a man-- [a pause, that smile growing just a little more fond (a little more fanatical)] -- a man by the name of Johnny Rayflo. If anyone happens to meet him, please tell him Barry's waiting. He's a dear friend of mine. I'm worried about him.

[the camera shifts yet again, this time allowing for a view of something dark dried into and matting the fur of his collar and turning the length of his long white braid a dying crimson. a quick flash of moistly crusted skin at his neck half-hidden behind a stained green cravat sends a droplet of something falling to partially obscure the view. he wipes it away with a thumb]

A change of clothes might be nice, if anyone has any to spare.
wHaT sErIoUs BuSiNeSs???

HoNk 1 o< ))) Video

[There is a wobbling, turning picture of the ceiling, then a wall, then finally a glassy-eyed smiling face, one coated with shades of grey greasepaint over grey skin with a ridiculously thick, tangled mass of black hair around it. He's talking quietly to himself, tone wobbling with intoxication but generally cheerful.]

-- this button? Haahahahahahah, fuck yes. That looks like it's on. Motherfucking miracles, using a book like this to all up and talk to people, who even thought of something as fucking magical as that…

[He smiles, a bit dopey-looking, showing a mouthful of sharp carnivore teeth, and begins talking to whatever audience he has.]

So, uuuuuh, what is all up, my motherfuckers? Anyone wanna all be filling in motherfucking bro as to what all these miracles are doing up in here? This shit is like. So surreal. So fucking beautiful. Ahahahahahaha!

[He honks a horn. HoNk HoNk motherfuckers~

(A bike horn, not one of the ones attached to his head.)]

I mean. Shit. There was all this, like, fucking paperwork, what was up with that, and now I all have a room and shit. So fucking bizarre. So amazing. Life's amazing. It's a miracle, how fucking weird things are, ahahahaha!

Ahahahaha. So. Yeah. Anybody wanna motherfucking catch a bro up? I am so fucking confused. Ehe.

[He stares at the video feed with a dazed but hopeful smile.]
can&#39;t hear you over my BRAIN TEASER

[ Video ; Action ] MOVIE NIGHT

[Momotaros and Rydia are both sitting in the rec room, using Momotaros' guide to stream... The Matrix. It was to help with Rydia's new job as a writer, and since Momotaros had no idea how to help, the two decided to watch a movie and stumbled upon this one.

Their minds? Blown forever.]

... What the hell does he mean "there is no spoon"? I can see it right there!

[ooc: bahahaha Lady and I are both crazies. If you want to watch the movie, too, feel free to stream it from Momo's guide! Somehow. I ASSUME IT WOULD WORK?]