Ventus (backhandjustice) wrote in gargleblasted,
Ventus
backhandjustice
gargleblasted

The New Way to Blast Fat [video]

[Oh lord, Thor. It's another video, and this time you get to see Ventus, dressed in a muscle-tank and knee-length basketball shorts and his signature shoes. He even has a sweatband around his head and two more around his wrists. There is a sort of fast techno-beat song going on in the background, and two aliens behind him - one a boy, and a girl (or so the pink color might lead you to believe), dressed similarly.]

Okay, Thor, um - I'm Ventus, and I'll be leading you today in your exercises! This is assured to help you blast that fat from unwanted places and give you that fresh from the.... the egg? Okay, egg look!

[Clearly there is a teleprompter.]

Right, so first, let's start with some windmills! Get those ten-tentacles warm!

[And he starts pinwheeling, and so begins a horrendous work out video, on like Richard Simmons proportions. Thank you teleprompters. Some highlights - ]

Come on! You can do it! Those tentacles can't stay wiggly forever!

Swivel those hips, people, swivel! Do you want to look like a pear?

Sweat! Sweat! It's the way you know it's working!

[Oh Keyblades, why? Just... why? He needed to start picking jobs better.]
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  • Prologue

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  • Prologue

    [See Eiri. Well, what you can see of him, anyway. See, Eiri's holding the guide in his arms along with the rest of the items he was given upon his…

  • Chapter 3 // Accidental-ish Text

    The S. S. Sif had me at fine drinking. You in? [ ooc: meant for his usual nursemaid, Tohma Seguchi, but that…

  • Chapter 2 // Action

    [Instead of handing out sexual health education pamphlets like he's supposed to be doing, Eiri's standing around, reading one of them: 50 Things…