Nyanko-sensei | MADARA (seekingnames) wrote in gargleblasted,
Nyanko-sensei | MADARA
seekingnames
gargleblasted

2ND NAME

HAPPYYYYY NEWWWW YEEEEAAAAAAARRRR!

To celebrate new beginnings, I'm giving all you ignorant humans (and a few ignorant other things) a present! They say knowledge is the best gift! Along with patience and understanding, which I've had a lot of these past few months! But it's time to set the record straight, so I present to you:


THE WONDERFUL NYANKO-SENSEI'S EXTENSIVE GUIDE TO CATS, AND HOW THEY DIFFER FROM YOUKAI WHO ARE TEMPORARILY IN A CAT FORM!!!!!!

To begin with, this is a picture of a cat:


It's pretty cute, if you're into that sort of thing.

This is a picture of a youkai:


Undeniably adorable.

While at first glance they look similar to the uneducated eye, there are in fact many differences! For instance, cats are pathetically needy for each other's company. Here you see two cuddling:


My research indicates they dislike water, so what they are doing in the sink is a mystery.

Youkai, on the other hand, have no need for pathetic human (or feline) bonds!!!!


Two attractive youkai barely tolerating each others' company, as it should be.

Cats are rude, picky creatures, but are too weak to do anything about it. This one finds some sort of flaw with what is presumably its pet's appearance, and can only express it by making stupid faces and dancing around the subject matter:


Humans can here answer: I'll wear whatever I please over my legs, because you phrased your disapproval so passively!!!

Youkai, on the other hand, are understanding and tolerable masters who acknowledge and accept the quirks of the humans they gracefully allow to live with them. They establish the natural order of things when they deign to speak to humans at all:


Whether or not he got me another popsicle is irrelevant to this discussion.

Cats are stupid, lazy animals. This one can only think of getting around by some ridiculous invisible bicycle:


Bicycles still require you to put effort in, hth!!!

Youkai enjoy the relaxation they rightfully deserve, and never have a problem being catered to with regards to transportation needs:


The birds also double as a post-flight snack.

When a cat finds a need to defend its territory, it must rely on human weapons and stealth, as it is weaker than most creatures and would lose in a straight fight:


This is a nice try, but too time consuming.

Even without transforming into their majestic and frightening true forms, youkai can defend themselves easily without silly human technology:


And look fabulous while doing so, in my humble opinion.

In short, DO NOT MAKE THIS MISTAKE AGAIN I AM NOT A CAT BUT MERELY IN THE FORM OF ONE AND MY TRUE FORM IS TOO AWE-INSPIRING FOR YOUR SIMPLE MINDS TO COMPREHEND

someone get me a popsicle!

This is also an acceptable way to travel, if a last resort where is Natsume what is taking him so long to get here that lazy boy


Editor's note: the above has been spellchecked and proofread prior to publication, as the author appears to have been exceptionally drunk while writing.
Tags: nyanko-sensei
Subscribe

  • [voice] 006

    Now, follow me, boy, and we'll go over the dining room. [Black hole or no black hole, someone has a Guide mis-fire to contend with. The feed…

  • [text] 005

    Greetings, fellow Thor residents. I notice we have had an influx of newcomers of late - I trust you are all adjusting to your new circumstances and…

  • [video] 004

    Now that we are adequately settled on the new planet and the missions have been posted, I feel it would be appropriate for me to comment on certain…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

  • 110 comments

  • [voice] 006

    Now, follow me, boy, and we'll go over the dining room. [Black hole or no black hole, someone has a Guide mis-fire to contend with. The feed…

  • [text] 005

    Greetings, fellow Thor residents. I notice we have had an influx of newcomers of late - I trust you are all adjusting to your new circumstances and…

  • [video] 004

    Now that we are adequately settled on the new planet and the missions have been posted, I feel it would be appropriate for me to comment on certain…