The Lightning Post (lightningpost) wrote in gargleblasted,
The Lightning Post
lightningpost
gargleblasted

January Missions!

Extreme Butter Shortage!
Demand for freshly churned butter has skyrocketed in recent months, creating a dwindling supply and outrageous price-hikes across the Thor! Merry Maid's Butter Warehouse is rising to the challenge, though, and hiring outside labor for the first time in its nearly 120-year history!

Retail Rivals Up the Ante!
Sworn rival clothing businesses "Abracadabra and Finch" and "French and Alakazam" are getting serious this month, unleashing a contrasting controversial sales-pitch in their attempt to outdo one another in the cut-throat clothing retail business! The former is introducing shirtless salespersons to its pristine and glistening salesfloor, while the latter is mixing it up with pantsless rivals! Whether these opposing sales pitches offend or delight is in the eye of the beholder, it's sure to be an interesting month when shopping for clothes!

Star Reporter eaten by Space Serpent!
The Lightning Post's star reporter Xsldkfj Xwelrkj met a sad and possibly avoidable end last weekend at the mouth of a very vexed and hungry space serpent. Details are unclear and information is limited, but what we do know is that both Xsldkfj and Xsldkfj's numerous articles will be sorely missed.


Maintenance

1.) The S.S. Thor needs cargo ship pilots to dump all its trash into the black hole. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The S.S. Thor needs defrosters. Slots: [8] Pay: [Minimum]
3.) The S.S. Thor needs tile layers. Slots: [5] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
4.) The S.S. Thor needs maintenance robot maintenance. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
5.) The Seen Library needs a system administrator for their digital collections. Slots: [2] Pay: [CEO]
6.) Astroland needs someone to test their carousel by riding it. Slots: [3] Pay: [CEO]


Delivery

1.) The Lightning Post needs someone to deliver the paper. Slots: [6] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Thor's Animate Rock Climber Association needs people to hand out informational booklets. Slots: [3] Pay: [Minimum]
3.) Happy 99 Mart needs someone to deliver groceries. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) Brides-2-U needs mail-order brides Slots: [5] Pay: [College Degree]
5.) The S.S. Thor Museum of Everything needs someone to retrieve space dust from around the black hole. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
6.) Space of Cakes needs giant cake deliverers. Slots: [3] Pay: [College Degree]
7.) Thor Animal Hospital needs pregnant panda deliverers. Slots: [4] Pay: [CEO]
8.) Mercury Post needs stealthy deliverypersons. Ninja costume will be provided. Slots: [5] Pay: [CEO]


Art & Humanities

1.) Thor Community College needs actors for "Space Invaders Rock Musical" Slots: [10] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Thor Community College needs stage hands for "Space Invaders Rock Musical" Slots: [3] Pay: [Minimum]
3.) Thor Community College needs costume designers for "Space Invaders Rock Musical" Slots: [3] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
4.) Thor Community College needs stage designers for "Space Invaders Rock Musical" Slots: [5] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
5.) Magic Marauder Studios needs level designers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
6.) Monto Art Gallery needs someone to hand out champagne at their art shows. Slots: [1] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
7.) Monto Art Gallery needs a curator of fine arts. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]
8.) The Vogons need people to read their poetry aloud to children. Slots: [3] Pay: [College Degree]


Culinary/Foodservice

1.) B. Jelly's Surf Shack needs crab shellers. Slots: [3] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) La Boulangerie du Charme Démoniaque needs pastry chefs. Slots: [5] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) La Boulangerie du Charme Démoniaque needs cake decorators. Slots: [3] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
4.) Aunt Gladys' Bakery needs peanut shellers. Slots: [3] Pay: [College Degree]
5.) MakiMaki Sushi needs sushi chefs. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]


Culture and Couture

1.) Shoujo Shampoo - the one with sparkles! needs hair models for commercials and personal appearances. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Space of Cakes needs bunny girls to jump out of giant cakes Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) Fashions of the Universe magazine needs Extreme Costume Designers. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) Abracadabra and Finch needs window models. Slots: [4] Pay: [CEO]
5.) Veronica's Secret needs window models. Slots: [4] Pay: [CEO]


Education

1.) The S.S. Thor needs primary school students. Slots: [***SPECIAL: Unlimited - for children 12 and under only!] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The S.S. Thor needs high school students. Slots: [***SPECIAL: Unlimited - for children 13 - 18 only!] Pay: [Minimum]
3.) The S.S. Thor needs university students. Slots: [***SPECIAL: Unlimited - for adults age 18+ only!] Pay: [Minimum]
4.) The S.S. Thor needs teacher's aides. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
5.) The S.S. Thor needs Day-Care Sitters. Slots: [5] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
6.) The S.S. Thor needs a school nurse. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
7.) The S.S. Thor needs primary school teachers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
8.) The S.S. Thor needs high school teachers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
9.) The Seen Library needs librarians. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
10.) The S.S. Thor needs college professors. Slots: [3] Pay: [College Degree]


Entertainment

1.) Music TV Betelgeuse needs tryouts for show "Teenage Pop Idols". Slots: [15] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) El Thoro's restaurant needs a mariachi band. Slots: [6] Pay: [Minimum]
3.) Caught in a Bad Romance TV Show needs turbulent couples Slots: [8] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
4.) Channel 15 needs a host for "The Just Got Married Game". Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]
5.) MakiMaki Sushi needs a shamisen player. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]
6.) Madam Agag Monthly needs Writers of Bad Romance Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
7.) Music TV Betelgeuse needs judges for "Teenage Pop Idols". Slots: [4] Pay: [CEO]
8.) Entertainment Thor needs celebrities for cameras to follow around all month. Slots: [15] Pay: [CEO]


Health/Safety

1.) Himawari Retirement Home needs attendants. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) St. Xlakkyr XVII Memorial Hospital needs candystripers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
3.) St. Xlakkyr XVII Memorial Hospital needs lavatory attendants. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) S.S. Thor Security needs yellow police tape models. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
5.) St. Xlakkyr XVII Memorial Hospital needs clowns to cheer up sick children. Slots: [3] Pay: [CEO]


Physical Labor

1.) Merry Maid's Butter Warehouse needs butter churners. Slots: [3] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Sir Ak'nagan Clegghorn needs butlers. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) Betelgeuse Buzz needs space beekeepers. Slots: [3] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) The Faux Fur Factory needs stuffed animal skinners. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
5.) Critical Constructivism needs heavy machinery operators. Slots: [3] Pay: [CEO]


Sales/Retail

1.) Country Apple needs butter stockers. Slots: [3] Pay: [CEO]
2.) Abracadabra and Finch needs shirtless salesmen. Slots: [3] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) French and Alakazam need pantless salesmen. Slots: [3] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
4.) Groovy Records needs far out people to buy new vinyl for their stock. Righteous. Slots: [3] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
5.) Ms. Lauren's Boutique needs saleswomen. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]


Sciences, Research, and Testing

1.) S.S. Thor Labs needs participants for a study on sleep deprivation. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
2.) S.S. Thor Labs needs monocle wearers for light-bending experiments Slots: [3] Pay: [College Degree]
3.) S.S. Thor Labs needs black hole density testers. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) S.S. Thor Labs needs dark matter serum cultivators. Slots: [4] Pay: [CEO]
5.) S.S. Thor Labs needs researchers to study physics within the gravitational field of the black hole. Slots: [2] Pay: [CEO]


Tourism

1.) Conspiracies R Us needs anti-black hole conspiracy theorists. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
2.) Conspiracies R Us needs Tribal Dancers to appease the Black Hole Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Black Hole Cult needs members. Slots: [10] Pay: [Minimum]
4.) The Black Hole Cult needs sacrifices (Virgins preferred). Slots: [5] Pay: [Minimum]
5.) The Black Hole Cult needs hawkers of black hole merchandise Slots: [5] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
6.) Conspiracies R Us needs screamers to yell bloody murder about the black hole. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
7.) The Black Hole Cult needs Epic Black Hole Ballad composers Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
8.) ALT+U needs alternate reality tour guides. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]


Special Missions
I) Amaterasu is hiring for Kamiki Art School.
  1. Kamiki Art School is looking for teachers. Slots: [3] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

II) Arisato Minato is hiring for The Crimson Lion.
  1. The Crimson Lion is hiring waitstaff. Slots: [3] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
  2. The Crimson Lion is hiring chefs for Japanese-style cuisine. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]

III) Hatake Kakashi is hiring for KARMA.
  1. KARMA needs interns. Slots: [1] Pay: [Minimum]
  2. KARMA needs actors and models for advertising purposes. Slots: [3] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
  3. KARMA needs an event planner. Slots: [1] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
  4. KARMA needs a lawyer. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]
  5. KARMA needs a head of marketing and advertisement. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]

IV) Lemina Ausa is hiring for The Magic Guild.
  1. The Magic Guild needs apprentice magicians to study magic. Slots: [10] Pay: [Minimum]
  2. The Magic Guild needs magic teachers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
  3. The Magic Guild needs magic item artisans. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
  4. The Magic Guild needs a bookkeeper. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]

V) Peony Upala Malkuth IX is hiring for Lady Luck Casino.
  1. Lady Luck Casino needs a lovely maid to clean Peony's apartment bidaily. Slots: [1] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

  2. Lady Luck Casino needs a cash & coin cashier. Slots: [2] Pay: [Minimum]

  3. Lady Luck Casino needs card dealers. Slots: [3] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

  4. Lady Luck Casino needs security. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

  5. Lady Luck Casino needs a bookkeeper. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]

  6. Lady Luck Casino needs a server to serve alcoholic drinks to of age patrons. Slots: [1] Pay: [Minimum (+tips)]

VI) Polymnia Terpsichore Aino Perdita Zyanya is hiring for 4tea2.
  1. 4tea2 needs waitstaff to make and serve tea to thirsty customers. Slots: [2] Pay: [Minimum]
  2. 4tea2 needs a baker to make pastries and the occassional sandwich. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]
  3. 4tea2 needs an assistant manager to help run shop. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]


Note: The missions will be posted on every floor of the S.S. Thor and can also be found in the Lightning Post for those already subscribing, as well as on the network. Unless otherwise stated it's first come first serve, so just reply to the right comment below and you'll get it! However, to make sure everyone has a chance to get a mission, you have to wait until next Saturday (January 7th) before you can apply for a second one.

To see what the requirements are for applying for Somewhat Decent, College Degree, and CEO level Wages, go here, and make sure you comment if you want the promotion!

Each mission lasts a month, and the paycheck will be handed out after the mission has been completed.

For those characters (and muns) who appreciate a bit more stability in their life, we have a Permanent Jobs Listing. If you're interested in pursuing this, please read all the instructions carefully before applying.

Replies will be in character. Please wait until all the jobs have been listed before commenting. Start a new thread for any OOC questions. And keep spam to a minimum! (...lol...)
Tags: !missions
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  • Event start!

    [The intercom clicks on, and there is a ~* dramatic silence*~ before someone draws a deeeeeeeeep breath and exclaims:] Guys! Guys! Guys guys guys!…

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  • Event end!

    [The intercom clicks on, and before the designated spokes-captain can begin speaking, the shrill sound of a prolonged, terrified scream can be heard…

  • Event start!

    [The intercom clicks on, and there is a ~* dramatic silence*~ before someone draws a deeeeeeeeep breath and exclaims:] Guys! Guys! Guys guys guys!…

  • Event end!

    [The intercom clicks on to the sounds of a triumphant kazoo fanfare, and one of the captains begins to squeak! I mean, speak!] Hellooooo, residents…