[It's becoming quite the shitty month for Terezi. As though the bucket job hadn't been bad enough, this time she was stuck coming up with anti-black hole conspiracy theories whilst babysitting a reckless human who was liable to do stupid things if unwatched AND now it turned out the Alternian Empress had arrived on board without her even noticing.
Which, really, had been inevitable. Alternia did have a lot of territory up here in paradox space.
And okay, the conspiracy theory job had been her own choice because it had seemed like fun at the time. Little had she realised that by the time she came to present her theory, it would be one which she partially believed.
Just ignore any sudden movements to keep Matthew in check. There will be no black hole eating on her watch]
Alright, people of Thor. There's been a lot of bullshit on this network about black holes and how we're all going to die because a giant hole in space is going to eat us. Apparently it's all anyone can talk about at the moment, so I suppose it's only fitting I should set you straight on a few things.
We are probably all going to die. This much is true and no amount of sacrifices or rituals will change this fact. Unless you can prove yourself useful, there is every chance you will be culled.
The black hole is a lie. It's an illusion, possibly the work of the subjugglators who even now are awaiting the Empress' command. Because that is the awful truth about our situation: the Alternian Empress, Her Imperious Condescension, is aboard this ship. It is likely the ship has crossed into her territory and she has come to conquer or destroy us. Probably both if she gets in a bad enough mood.
This is what you can do: nothing. Just sit and try not to get her attention and hope she merely decides to ignore you. If she asks of you, do as she asks and don't argue. Then you might have a chance of surviving. And don't, whatever you do, mouth off to her and yes Karkat that does mean you. Otherwise, make sure your affairs are in order and await the inevitable culling.