Tags: abarai renji

o motherfuckin shit wtf


[ CLATTER! The screen turns on and it’s clear that it was just a filtered video a second ago ]

--acting a little weird. When are you coming back?

[ Sounds kinda like Kakashi, and he’s trying to whisper (badly) to his guide which is currently filming... carpet. Feet? Are feet coming into the shot? Are a ninja’s feet backing into the shot? ]

O-Oi, Kakashi-san.

[ Another voice, a little more distant, and sounding a good deal more like one Abarai Renji. It sounds kinda... quivery, though. Is he ill? ]

Renji. Are you alright?

You wanna, uh... I mean, I...

I don’t think--

I’m kinda in the mood. Y’wanna do it?

Now’s not really a good time... I think Katsura is coming back soon and we just got started--

S’no hassle. We could do it quick. Whip out my bankai.

Uh, we’d have to go somewhere else; we’d make a mess in here.

[ More backing up. Oh, those feet are coming dangerously close-- CRASH!-- and off turns the guide ]

[ OoC: In the middle of studying, Renji got a special package. ]

VOICE; 2. oo3 ☇ goddamn who let those dogs out

So, uh. Wow. Everythin' went apeshit.

An' I know ape shit. Jus' sayin'.

[crap oops uhm:]

Oh, Maka. Get yer coat an' do up yer shoes we're goin' fer juice. [oh wait what if she's meeting up with friends there's a ton of people over here now UH] Unless yer busy. Which case, later's fine.

[ps I SUCK AND OWE TAGS EVERYWHERE i have notifs and once all this insanity is over i'll do my best to not suck and to backtag everywhere oh my god i fucking love you guys]
i'll introduce you.

VIDEO; 2. oo2 ☇ the barking mutt just can't let sleeping dogs lie


[a file pops up on the screen]

Collapse )

Seriously if y'see her on her own anywhere or doin' somethin' dull or still goddamn readin', grab her an' take her t'do somethin' fun. No drinkin', though, she's underage. Oh an' orange juice is good. Smoothies too. An' jus' so y'know I'm not against readin' I can read it's jus' she does it too much, her eyes're gonna go square or circle or triangle or word shaped or somethin' an' nobody wants that.

She's Maka, by the way. Figure most o' ya prob'ly know her a little anyway, so y'know who yer lookin' fer. Too much longer bein' an 'I'm not a shut-in' type shut-in an' she's gonna turn into a crab, an' a crab's not a good thing t'be, so y'better act quick.

...'Kay. That's it. M'done.

Meetin' adjourned.

[didn't bother to filter from maka oops and also that big picture/text combo? stuck up as a poster here and there about the ship (in a small radius he got bored of tacking them up after a while)


VOICE/VIDEO; 2. oo1 ☇ the old dog up to even older tricks

[you're used to the comings and goings of the new arrivals lounge by now, right Thor? enough to ignore the mutterings of an angry line, and easily enough to attribute it to background noise when a Vogon firmly states that "Sir, you can't just take it, you haven't finished filling out the forms"

for a while after that, if anyone paid attention, it's quiet. or at least relatively; the voice feed is still running, underpinned by haggard breaths, the constant rustle of moving fabric and the occassional grunt

it's a good ten minutes before anything different happens, and when it does it comes in the form of:]


[scuffle, sc-scuffle shuck, scuffle scuffle shkk-- the video feed flicks on to the wobbling line of a jaw, Guide shaking and unsteady, and creeps up from below to unveil a grimacing mouth, a nose, two heavily squinted eyes and]


[a pair of obnoxious forehead adornments somewhat haphazardly covered by one slightly askew strip of fabric and topped off with a healthy dose of the rare Red Pineapple]

[Renji coughs, rasping, and a faint spray puts a slightly red filter on the whole scene]

Think'm-- [wobble wobble thump deeper grimace] Dammit.

M'gonna need some hel--

[tumbling tumble BUMP BUMP BUMP black white black white red vague shade of grey badump bump--]

[sorry, Thor. he dropped you]

[if it's any consolation, where you landed isn't too far from where he did, and by the looks of that big black lump of not really moving he won't be getting up any time soon]

[OOC: OKAY Remus will be first to the scene due to the marvels of accidental arrival aaaand will heal him up, but everybody else feel free to DO AS YOU WILL beyond that... Renji may or may not reply to any Guide comments depending on whether or not he can find it in himself to move/deal with them dgjlhdf]
  • nostray

TEXT; oo9 ☇ the mutt who didn't want just any old bone


so i see we're running with the whole christmas thing here, and i figure i should get this out there:

Abarai Renji's Christmas Wishlist:

1. beer. doesn't count if I've got to drink on my own. spread some goddamn christmas cheer and get drunk with me.
2. shades. a real awesome pair. the kind i'd spend my whole damn salary on if I had a salary, don't want any of the soaking up sun type. enhanced reiatsu vision or heat specs, something cool. got to look good, too.
3. ape food
4. snake snacks. i don't know, a dead rat or something. don't ask, just get.
5. a bucket.
6. a sponge
7. shampoo. got an ape who needs a bath and ive got to give it to him. don't want to have to pay out.
8. someone to spar with. seriously, if any of you guys who offered give me a 'three free fights' voucher i'll be a happy man.
9. polish. got to keep shit stuff looking shiny.
10. hair spray/gel. not for me or anything...  it's for the monkeys. you know. figured i'd... give them... a style over. yeah.
11. i kinda might like taiyaki a little, if you can find me any of that...

okay, that's all. thanks a bunch.

by <lj user=another_icon_lj>

.13 // [VIDEO]

[when the Guide clicks on it's out of focus like it's been hit too hard. Moments later the camera equals out and the image is clear so that it reveals a mess of blood and a little rubble. Standing in front of that camera is Envy, with his shoulders slightly hunched and his hair a little matted with blood. There's a fresh trickle of it dripping down his face near his left eye. An open wound in his bare side is bleeding freely, too. The little twisted smile of his says he might not really care.]

Someone's left their garbage out again. Get rid of it. Now.

[and a flick of his wrist shifts the Guide where it sits to focus on that trash]

Who's fuckin' garbage, asshole. [it's Renji. Nobody's surprised. Whether there's a regular angry sneer to go with his words or not, however, it's difficult to say. He's worse off than Envy; his entire face a mass of dried and clotting blood, the source indecipherable behind the caked layer of it. He looks a mess] I'll kill y--

[and then he's gone. There's an audible thump as his body hits the floor. ... well. At least he's back to normal.]

[A bloodied hand grabs the lens, smearing red there, but the cleaner half shows Envy again. The gash on his abdomen has already healed shut and his grin is wider than it was before.


((ooc: because it's been Gee's dream forever and ever, filters will go to this!))
  • nostray

VOICE; oo7 ☇ the dog who slunk away with his tail between his legs

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit, gotta move faster. Can't let them find you...

Fuck. But what if they worry. What if they worry, godammit. Shit, Renji, think. Gotta leave a note before you pull shit like this. Gotta let them know first. Shit-- shit. ...fuck. S'probably too late now. Prob'ly already disappointed. S'okay, they've gotta be expecting this kind o' crap from you by now. Right? Right. Yeah. Hell, they prob'ly won't even notice you're gone.

[fumble fumble, the sound is all distorted from the heavy thumping footsteps in the background]

-- shit. This thing's on. Fuck.

[the feed shuts off]

[BACKDATED TO LATE YESTERDAY; Renji has been injected (we haven't done the thread yet, buuut i didn't know if i'd be around tomorrow to post this so i hope it's okay to throw it up now!) by Polly. as such, he is now... pretty badfic. yes. 8| at first? i had a good plan for this. then i forgot it, and now it has declined into something half pitiful and half revolting. i apologise.

anyway, as a general rule replies will be ic-ly delayed by about 3 hours, to account for running time and time for guilt to kick in, and anyone requiring a filter for language (idk if the guide filters that kind of stuff) will instead be watching something akin to this passionate video about trucks.]